Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
