I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
