just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
