Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
