I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
