the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
