i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
