i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The power of my boobs compel you
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
