I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
