You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
