Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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