forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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