Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
