I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it hurts more in the daytime
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
