I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
