found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
