I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
