i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
honey bunches of taint.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
