Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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