what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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