Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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