when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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