We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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