try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
