i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
