So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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