Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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