wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize