i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
