dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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