ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
