Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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