my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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