do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
