her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
