One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
