I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
