yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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