I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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