he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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