Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
