Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
