She said her name was "party"
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
