just tell him i said nine months
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
