1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
