i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
