His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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