the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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