When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
