I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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