Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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