I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
