What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
