That's intense
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
accomplished twins. life is a go
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
