...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
